Like it's their job

While orienting coworkers to our evening check-in practices last night, I said something along the lines of "If the kids push boundaries with you around bedtime, don't take it personally. Teenagers push boundaries like it's their job."

Today I've been thinking, what if pushing boundaries is actually their job, not just something they do reliably and with gusto? In the same way that it's a baby's "job" to play - playing is the best thing they can do for their relationship with the world at that stage.

This idea is patronizing because it's sort of about development, and because it's harder to determine the "jobs" of adults of all ages (we get mired in all kinds of seemingly important things).

But still, I think the push back that often comes from teenagers is important. In my experience, they are keenly aware of power, of connection and division, and of "the rules." They are actively transforming and actively watching their peers transform. They see society quite clearly, but often they haven't yet signed on or resigned to how things "are supposed to be."

If nothing else, working with teens keeps me honest and keeps me on my toes.